Who's the big fattie? I'M THE BIG FATTIE!!!

I am so proud of my ginormous bulging tummy!

I look at it, rub it, hold it, and pat it pretty much all hours of every day. I have never felt so beautiful in all my life! I know that sounds silly, but I have waited oh-mah-god so long for this so you can't blame me, right? The dude loves the belly too. He likes to examine it and makes me stand with my shirt up while cooking dinner or watching tv. So sweet, eh? I like him.

I have an appointment in two days to hopefully* find out the sexes. I am so flipping excited I can barely stand it. My entire work days are filled with baby thoughts. I might as well give up at life until Friday because I cannot cope with anything else right now.

*The word "Hopefully" in this sentance was used with the following definition: If the eff-ing ultrasound techs try to tell me they can't see the genitals of the babies, I will take the wand and shove it up their ass and tell them the gender of their intestines.

Funny tidbit: My boss has started calling them Mutt and Jeff. If it's two boys, that just might stick.

SECOND TRIMESTER!! Holy sh*t!

It's true. This is no joke. I am in the second trimester. It has never occured to me that this moment would actually happen. I mean, obviously I've known I was pregnant for the last 9 weeks, but I never allowed myself to imagine I would get to this point.

Both my babies are kicking ass and taking names and they don't appear to be the kind of fetuses that end their mission prematurely. They are both measuring a few days ahead and growing like steroid junkies. They have very different personalites already, although I don't know if it will stick. They've still got a lot of time to adjust their attitudes before mom has to do it for them.

BABY A: She's either lazy or extremely chill
   So I'm calling Baby A a girl right now. Don't get excited, we don't know yet. She's very laid back and actually allows the ultrasound tech to study her and hear her heartbeat.

BABY B: He's a circus monkey
   You get the picture: "she" and "he" are obviously what I'm hoping for. This little guy was extremely opposite of his sister. He was flailing his limbs and bopping his head around. He refused to participate in the ultrasound and made it impossible for anyone to hear his heart. Such a rotten little boy, right? We had a serious discussion afterwards about his attitude and cooperation during these appointments. We've got another ultrasound at 17 weeks and I swear he is going to cooperate so I can find out their sexes on that day or else he will be on dog poop duty from the day he is birthed. He pretended to care, but I don't feel like he was genuine at all.

Welp, there you go. An exciting update. Go ahead and send me gifts for making it to the phantom Second Trimester.